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Humour and Entertainment for Grownups

The Mexican Maid

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The Mexican maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise.

She asked, “Now Maria, why do you want a pay increase?”

Maria explained, “Well, Señora, zere are tree reasons why I wanna da increaze. Ze first eez that I iron better than you.”

Raising her eyebrows the wife replies, “Who said you iron better than me?”

“Jor huzban, he say so.”

“Oh yeah?”

Maria continued, “The second reason eez that I am better cook than you.”

“Nonsense,” replied the wife, “Who said you were a better cook than me?”

“Jor hozban did.” said Maria.

Wife increasingly agitated, replied “Oh he did, did he??”

“The third reason,” said Maria, “Eez that I am better at sex than you in ze bed.”

Wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth, ”And did my husband say that as well?”

“No Señora…….”, replied Maria, ”Ze gardener did.”

“So how much do you want?” asked the wife.

Why can't more superheroes look like this?

Yet another woman with a drinking problem.Someone has got to help these women!

My idea of a Christmas present

Turned on masochist Reindeer

Testicle Therapy

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Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.

The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to roll around in obvious agony.

The woman rushed down to the man, and immediately began to apologise. “Please allow me to help. I’m a Physical Therapist and I know I could relieve your pain if you’d allow me,” she told him.

“Oh, no, I’ll be all right. I’ll be fine in a few minutes,” the man replied. He was in obvious agony, lying in the foetal position, still clasping his hands there at his groin.

At her persistence, however, he finally allowed her to help. She gently took his hands away and laid them to the side, loosened his trousers and put her hands slowly and carefully inside. She then administered a tender and skilful massage for several long moments and softly asked “‘How does that feel?”

“Feels wonderful,” he replied, “But I still think my thumb’s broken!”

No sir, I do not like to "move it, move it"!

The Shower

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A sex therapist was having lunch with a friend.

“I just read a survey that said 90% of adults masturbate in the shower; the other 10% sing,” said the sex therapist.

“Really?” asked her friend.

The therapist nodded and asked, “Do you know what song they sing?”

Her friend shook her head, “No.”

The therapist replied, “I thought you wouldn’t!”

Spot the blondes in this photo!

Get in there quick!

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